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October 14, 2012
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(Contains: violence/gore)
Teen!England X Suicidal!Teen!Reader – Razors (Part 1)

Your POV
I watched as the blade cut through my pale wrists, a slick line of blood oozed out the wound, just like the tears swelling up in my terrified (e/c) eyes. The Reason I did all this was because of all the stress in my life, I don't have a family who cares, they'll just shrug me off if I needed something or if I was upset and wanted to talk to mum, she'll just called me depressed and that'll never get better. I don't have a father cause he left a decade ago, when I was five. My brother is nowhere to be found, ever since he went missing two weeks ago, mum has lost all hope… How much I wanted to help and say "he'll return… I promise" it never came to me; I couldn't pull myself through saying that… I couldn't promise… When she was drunk, she'll say 'oh, I'm doing this to cope'… It didn't help me cope, it just hurt me more…  The only person who cared about me was Arthur, the amazing, blonde haired, green eyed Punk… He was there, since the very beginning…Whimpering as I pulled the blade out my skin, the cut was around 9cm long,, 1 inch deep, not deep enough to kill me, but deep enough to scar. I had given up on caring about scars, it's not like anyone would care, apart from Iggy. I was sick of this life… pulling a pen from my draws beside my bed along with my diary, randomly opening it up to a blank page, I started to write ~

"I've finally been ripped apart and my soul has been blackened and shattered into a million pieces, tiny fragments that will never be put back together, those tiny fragments, making holes and slashes n my body, oozing with blood. Everyone hates me, they don't care about me, they don't care if I live or die, they look at my and laugh, at the pitiful person I am.

I wasn't meant to be born. I was such a mistake… So you've told be mum…  When you used to beat me, when you were drunk… how you threw me against walls, how you used to wrap your fingers around my throat. Trying to murder me… Then the next morning, no apologies… No nothing… All you did was give birth to me, give me food, clothing, somewhere to sleep and education.. That's it... No love? No, I thought not….. You clearly don't give a shit about me… No wondered Brother left us… He Hated You

Arthur, I love you so much, my amazing best friend, You've been so kind to me, the only person whose really cared for me, Without you, I would have probably done this a long time ago. You tried to stop me cutting, but you couldn't, I've fallen to deep for anyone's help. I'm so sorry for the pain I will cause for you, I really am. Please, don't forget me Arthur.

I know how I'll do this, I'll take my razors and end my life, slicing them through the skin on my wrists, blood spilling out, you'll never find me… Only one person might… And if he gets there before I've died…. I feel gilt fly over me… No one has the right to weep for me, only one, Iggy.. You can cry as much as you want, because you loved me. Please continue your life, and become happy… for me…

Love,

______________________________"

Taking a look at the note, I smiled, feeling a huge relief off my shoulders, blood smudges scattered the page. Going into my secret box under my bed, I gathered up my razors and slipped them into my (f/c) hooded jacket pockets, then grabbing the note… exiting my bedroom in a hurry, I sprinted down the wooden stairs. Storming into the kitchen to see my mother with a wine glass filled half way, next to the glass was a half empty wine bottle, I hope she chokes.. I spat out in my head. Walking in front of her slouched position, the note was slammed onto the table "I hope you're proud of yourself" I growled with venom in my tone. Seconds later I was out the house and into the cold night. The clouds were a navy blue colour, filled to the brim with rain...

End of chapter one…..
I fill like shit... so this was magical summed up...

I don't own Hetalia or you.
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:iconsteph972:
steph972 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Student Artist
ia there a part 2
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:iconpeacebuggy:
Peacebuggy Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Will you make a part to? Just curios XD
Reply
:iconarisakz:
ArisaKZ Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014
Uh... part one?
Reply
:iconitabbycat101:
ItabbyCat101 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Go to the hetalia file in my gallery, should be in there
Reply
:iconcreepypastaismylife2:
CreepyPastaIsMyLife2 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Sometimes i feel like no body cares about me but i guess they do even if im hardly even talked to in school and shit like that but i remind myself i have so much to life forand i tell the that to help my friends get through cutting so yeah i just use my own advise bc i want to cut to relive stress but i dont so EHHHHHHHH :iconsulkplz: 

 everybody join me in my emo corner! :iconemocornerplz:
Reply
:iconpeacebuggy:
Peacebuggy Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*joins you in corner*
Reply
:iconcreepypastaismylife2:
CreepyPastaIsMyLife2 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
*Gives cookie* Welcome to emo corner
Reply
:iconpeacebuggy:
Peacebuggy Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*takes cookie* thank you I feel so welcomed! *tear of joy*
Reply
:iconresidentevilhetalia:
ResidentEvilHetalia Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Im only living because of 3 people...the ones who care about me...my 3 best friends...the one i knew since kindergarden, the one i met two years ago, and the onr i met last year....


If they werent in my life, id be dead right now.








Love your story
Reply
:iconitabbycat101:
ItabbyCat101 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
It's good that you have people, I would have been dead if my bestfriend and boyfriend weren't in my life.... This story is kinda based off me and him, as he is protective and hates it when I cut.
Thank you for reading :)
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